Therapy Devotee Pillows

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my prenup anymore.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

X-ray Psychology.

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I hate Mondays.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'We have three minutes left.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'