Therapist Appreciator Pillows

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We have three minutes left.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"You need to stop bottling it up."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'