Therapy Humor Appreciator Pillows

'You need to learn to trust yourself.', 'What? -- that bum who got me drunk and spend all my MONEY last night?'

'I think I need a new psychiatrist. The one I have now gave me a mood ring to monitor my progress.'

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

"I'm no shrink, but it sounds like you have some unresolved issues with Lucy."

"You're neither a happy clown nor a sad clown. You're a manic depressive clown."

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

'Don't get TOO comfortable,Mister Jones.'

"Yes, I can see where being Wendy's invisible friend all those years, and then her growing up could cause separation anxiety."

"I don't think a trip to Las Vegas is the best prize for the raffle."

"You're in denial."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"You're completely screwed up."

Psychobabbling brook.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

Computer help.

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"How long have I had what problem?"