Theory Challenger Gifts

"My paper will revolutionise our perception of core scientific principles..."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Mental Health System Breakdown

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

'Confusionism'

'And this is what Larry calls his 'man cave'.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Capitalism

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

'First particle theory, then wave theory, then plasma theory, and now lime gelatin theory.'

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Always a bridesmaid..."

*Sigh*

Ever wonder if Einstein was only trying to come up with a catchy phrase, just for attention?

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

"Welcome aboard, Ms Pebble. We felt you fit our boardroom image rather well."

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

Selling Justice

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'