Theft Prevention Gifts

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'Your father installed a security system.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Retrospection.

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

Neighborhood Watch.

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

"Sorry we're late, Your Honor. My watch seems to be missing."

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

'We've been robbed!'

Woman feeding pigeons crumbs, man feeding children crack.

"Would you like me to radio for a social worker,before or after your mugging?"

"Alexa, how do I stop knife crime?"

"Can I call you back?"

'To save the inconvenience of future muggings would you like to consider the convenient option of setting up a direct debit?'

Wot Chew Lookin' AT!

'I'm inclined to agree with you, Sir. Worst case of shoplifting I've seen.'

'My home's got 'fortress' features galore - the best burglar alarm - armed security guards - intercom system - closed-circuit television - etc. ... I'm a virtual prisoner in my own home!'

A-1 security from crime....

You're letting this security thing go to your head.

'Can I call you back? I'm expecting someone.'