Theatrical Treasure Hunter Gifts

Pirate

"Thank you for letting me listen to my oldies. Let's start with some Jimi Hendrix."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

The Dubloon Stops Here

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Treasure Island Book.

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Pirate

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"...it's another metal detector."

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

Archaeologists discover a football