Theatrical Impersonator Gifts

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Falstaff

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"Toi Toi Toi!"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Silly wig.

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

A man taking a bow

"Elfis"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Proposal

Speech

Karaoke night.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

Mime marriage.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

Baby dressed for the opera.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

Ventriloquist Grave

Zoo Society Costume Party. Lot's of people had the same idea --- We're surrounded by fake gnus.

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

Gondolier

It's more than a mike!

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'