Theatrical Impersonator Gifts

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Silly wig.

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Falstaff

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

A man taking a bow

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Elfis"

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Speech

Proposal

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

Mime marriage.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

Baby dressed for the opera.

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

It's more than a mike!

Ventriloquist Grave

Gondolier

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'So famous for her amazing fruit covered hats, Carmen Miranda's pineapple shoes were less well known.'