Theatre Festival T-Shirts

Grandfather Clock

Shepherd and eurydice

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Glastonbury. After.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Mardi Gras

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Face painting.

"Meet the author"

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Southwark Fair.

'Hamlet'

Bacchus.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Pirate

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

High security Santa's grotto

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Piracy on a boating lake

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Tension filled the tent.