Theater Comedians Gifts

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

Modern Major General

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Not here - home!'

Drummer

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

Berta screams out!

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

'Very funny!'

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

Nanki Poo

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."