The Linkedin Influencer Gifts

"Why do I deserve a raise? Haven't you seen my Wikipedia entry?"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Influence this."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Witches of Instagram

Creativity 2.0

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"