The Hopeful Realist Gifts

"There's light at the end of the tunnel but it looks like the bulb's gone."

"How am I supposed to unleash my full potential when I'm always on one?"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

Inbox and Outbox

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

The Dungeon

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Rural Cityscape

Cup half full

"It breaks my heart to see you stressed out here at work, so you're fired."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

Japanese disaster

'I tried for a new lease on life, but I got a lousy credit report.'

'The worst part is, we've never had it so good.'

'Yeah, I couldn't make a lousy cent for days and I don't care about it! Got me, dude?'

'One thing about being chronically unemployed -- we're safe from work-related injuries.'

"This new job of mine is like paradise."

Wishing Well

"As a Senior Citizen applying for this job, where do YOU see yourself in 5 years?"

"Old MacDonald had a farm"

Captain Pointy No.62 - Famous last words

Eight nights of excuses

'Hi. The Bluebird of Happiness retired. I'm the Bluebird of Things Could Be Worse.'

'When hell freezes over?... So, that's definitely a date?'

"Keep your eyes open, something will come along"

Then vs. now