Realistic Optimists Gifts

Man with can sitting below sign that says, 'Gave only 109%'.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Six Thinking Hats

Protest

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

Inbox and Outbox

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Great news! Scientists have cured many, many diseases! They've used new discoveries and innovative techniques to cure inherited liver disease

Flower growing from a bomb.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

Man replaces tank sign with deer sign

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

Tom's last day.

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Newspaper headline is CUTE PUPPY RESCUED. Cat says: 'Sigh! It's all bad news in the papers, isn't it?'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

Research -Development - Wishful Thinking

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'The key is not to take yourself too seriously: You have to be able to laugh at yourself...'

Just Because it's Tuesday

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

"My glass is half empty"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Do-over

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'