The Bill Detective T-Shirts

'If I paid my sewer bill, how long would it take to get my water back on?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A boy acting suspiciously

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Sale.

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Customer Convention

Unusual Offers

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

The Bargain Brand

Black Friday

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

'But what do you sell?'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.