The Be Ready Brigade T-Shirts

End of the world insurance.

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

The Drummer

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

How to survive the coming crash.

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

In case of fire call yourself.

Saving up for a rainy day.

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

"Say when."

We'll see who's laughing when this is all water.

The Bikings

"You should have called earlier."

Piñata attack

White Cliffs of Dover

Worst Case Scenario in a winter storm situation...

"Bernard's always prepared for asteroids"

Man takes umbrella out of scabbard.

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"Don't you think you're taking this shelter-in-place thing a little too far?!"

Fast Food Restaurant Employees Discuss a Defibrillator. 'Maybe we should keep it under the counter.'

'Heck, I'm prepared for anything!'