The Be Ready Brigade T-Shirts

End of the world insurance.

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

The Drummer

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

In case of fire call yourself.

Saving up for a rainy day.

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

"Say when."

The Bikings

"You should have called earlier."

White Cliffs of Dover

Worst Case Scenario in a winter storm situation...

"Bernard's always prepared for asteroids"

Man takes umbrella out of scabbard.

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"Don't you think you're taking this shelter-in-place thing a little too far?!"

Fast Food Restaurant Employees Discuss a Defibrillator. 'Maybe we should keep it under the counter.'

'Heck, I'm prepared for anything!'

"Honestly, Harry, I'll never tease you again for carrying around that elephant gun!"