Baby On Board Brigade T-Shirts

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

31. 19. 55.7.

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"I normally scream and cry on car rides, but I'm saving it all up for when we get on our flight"

The Drummer

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

"Which one's mine?!"

'That's the guy - lives on a 'narrow boat!'

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

Express Check-out: Two babies or less

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

"Say when."

Piñata attack

Other Peoples Babies.

"Get me the coast.

'As an incentive to get you to help out more, I hid a pass for a free round of golf at Oakmont Hills in one of these diapers.'

End of the world insurance.

The Happiest Hen of Accrington

'I use the usual tripod gait - front and back legs on one side along ith the middle leg on the other side.' 'I never thought about it. I just move lots of legs, and then I move lots of other legs.'

"We can try to make mom breakfast in bed, but isn't it a bit early to bother the fire department?"

'What do you mean, there's no menu card?'