Thanksgiving Preparation Pillows

'Sorry, ran out. Soon as I opened the door, they all ran like hell.'

"I smell cranberries."

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

"What a workout! I'm covered in broth."

'Quick, Tom, put this thong on. It'll have a slimming effect.'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

'Is she teething again?'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Come dine with me!

Grace For Flies

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Pumpkin patch

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...