Thanksgiving Innovator Gifts

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"We give thanks for plant-based meals that spare some of us. . . and those humans who choose these."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Happy Turkey Day!

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Plymouth Rock

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

Beauty and the Baste

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

Before and After Holiday Diet

A football player catching a turkey

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

Gramps shows the kids HIS favorite stuffed animal.

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"What the ... they've scheduled my surgery for Thanksgiving."

'Why can't you just use the microwave like everyone else?'

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'