Texting Wiz Gifts

"State law banned the weapons. Now they just exchange sarcastic texts."

Polly txt speak

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Oymoticons

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'How fast can you hype?'

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

The Communicator

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Hectare?

"I lost all my hair to the texting bubbles that came and went without saying a word."

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

The Woman Who Could Talk to Engineers...

An ellipsis in the sky

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

Explaining it on layman's terms

Romeo and Juliet 2.0