Texting Tycoon T-Shirts

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Mr. Farnsworth will text you now.'

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"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Moo Out Loud

'How about a walk!'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'So I'll become a CEO of a dummy corporation.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"Someday this will all be yours...assuming that someday you'll have enough to buy it from me."

'I told you he's gonna be the next Warren Buffett!'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'

'He's precocious.'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

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Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"Ok, so I just texted everybody my commencement speech."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."

"Ok clss pls trn ur pprs ovr n strt :)"

'If you want to be a great success, get yourself huge wads of money.'