Texting Troubadour Gifts

'I got the ain't nobody texting me blues...'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

The No No No's

Children have their campsite ruined by an assortment of farm animals.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"This next song is about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Whatever!

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

Musicians

"This one is really gonna blow their minds."

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

City & Western.

The train on the musical line

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

"This jury finds the accused not guilty provided he tells us where he has hidden the money."

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

Carols

Gypsy busker

"Yep, I agree: It's pure torture when he plays his harmonica around the campfire..."

"Oh, I always let Howard stuff the turkey....he was a gynecologist you know!"

'Are you sure Mr, Winslow will greet us with an open wallet'

'This is the dawning of the age of asparagus...!'

'What difference does it make - all roads lead to Rome!'

"I'm afraid a computer tech is going to have to be prematurely taken."

'I'm going to be late dear, the traffic's a mess.'

'Take cover, everybody! It's the off key kid and his band of tone deaf outlaws!'

Aaaah! I have stupidly been driving while txting you and lost control...

"He really embodies the soul of mid-level management blues."

'Twitter is throwing open the whole world of libel to a radical rethink...'

Too Popular By Half.

"Of course there are termites in the basement - they're our kids."

"Darling - remind me again - which country are we in?"