Texting Detective Pillows

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'He ain't texting, Boss...'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

Violence on TV.

The Tangents talk it over.

"The war that wasn't a war isn't a disaster."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

The Hypocritic Oath

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

'I think it means corporate control is now complete.'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.