Textbook Titan T-Shirts

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

It's academic

"The notion that *CRUNCH* architectural *CRUNCH CRUNCH* forms can *CRUNCH* express anything may *CRUNCH* seem difficult *CRUNCH* to *CRUNCH CRUNCH* grasp at *CRUNCH* all,"

Modern Studying

Contest to enter the University

"And your Specialist Subject is 'Randomly Shouting Out Guesses to Questions You Know Nothing About'..."

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is not 'I'm sorry if you feel offended.'"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

Returning to reading

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

Hazard of texting

Workmen Lifting.

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder

"I heard someone was looking for a dungeon master."