Techie Titan T-Shirts

Psst. You love new technology, right? Guilty. Computer Villa. We've got a new salesperson – for only our most special, regular customers. She knows how you tech guys like it. Gulp really? Your old phone is obsolete, wimpy man! Awesome.

The Googler

Ascent of Machine.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Invest in technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

"I've outgrown my backpack."

All the apps hidden within a phone

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

I've always been slower than computers...

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

Statue of liberty selfie

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

The Uses of a Stethoscope

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this pretty pace from day to day. To the last syllable of recorded time. . ."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'Why not Google it?'

"In this scene, imagine you're sentient and know what feelings are."