Text Terminator Pillows

'Speak properly son, you're not texting now...'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

Superintendent

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

"These door hinges squeak."

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

Drone Spray