Test-taking Guru Gifts

Math Class. Rm 217. I don't know how many time I've failed a math test.

Can you help billy solve the following Problem? - No, let's be honest Billy isn't that smart and the fact that you haven't noticed that really makes me question your judgement.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'I really crammed last night.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"We thought this was more realistic."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Examiners.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'I would've studied for that test, but I thought it would be a piece of cake.'

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

Waiting for the results.

"In a multiple choice exam if in doubt always go for D, because that's about what grade you'll end up with!"

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

'I'll accept that excuse for now, but you need to have a brain by Monday.'

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."