Test Result Tactician T-Shirts

'Here is a printout of the results of our recent standardized tests and here are the same results printed with a very small, hard-to-read-font, to make the implications less obvious.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Kitchen Tetris

Good luck with all the revision...

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Examinations.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

Examiners.

The Use of Cavalry

Kosovo.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Keeper giving Lords best position for shooting

"Next!"

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

Arsene Wenger

"Now we have all your arrows!"

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

"This shouldn't be too hard. It's just the two letters."

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'Try aiming for the wall - maybe then you'll hit the target!'

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'