Interview Tacticians T-Shirts

"I did have a question regarding your career history. Under 'Strengths,' you listed 'Never convicted.' Would you mind elaborating on that?"

Recruitment Agency: "Describe yourself in three words."

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Good luck with all the revision...

Examinations.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

"If you can't beat them, sir, perhaps you should consider colluding with them."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

This Amount of Computer Code

Arsene Wenger

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

No Tread on Me

Wi-Fi password?

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

"No self-aggrandizement anywhere. And you call yourself an applicant?"

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

Sun Tzu takes on Heisenberg

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

"I'm having all unwanted emails go to an Uncle Spam folder."

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

Man plays chess against TV.

Money in mousetrap

'I admire how you don't take no for an answer, but I'm afraid I'm calling security.'

Rover's Cake