Test Drive Aficionado Gifts

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Yes, it comfortably fits three accomplices and gets you from the bank to the expressway in twelve seconds, but I think it's time to end this test drive."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Route 666

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Inflating Boobs.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

It's great for pulling the birds!

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

Smile

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

"Perfect."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"I told you not to polish the car too much."