Terminology Tinkerer Gifts

Economic Conference.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Early cyborg.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Sale! Weed Whackers

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"