Tension Defuser Gifts

'This recruit thinks he can make the enemy die laughing.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

"The boss just stopped and squinted at me! Either I"m in big trouble or he's lost is glasses again."

Caution - Low gravity zone.

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

'Aren't you glad we had this meeting to resolve our conflict?'

'You made $50,000 less than in the previous year? Gee, I really feel sorry for you guys in the private sector.'

"Why are you smiling?"

"There's just so much hostility I can dish out in one day, and still get my work done."

Surface Tension

'You do realize this means war!'

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

"Maybe it’s not the best time to mention the subpoena."

'Here's another popsicle stick for ya, Doc.'

Insignificant Jockey

'Sit down. I'll like to discuss your expense account.'

"You just want an excuse not to spend Xmas with my family."

'Unbelievable money maker.'

'He won't hurt you - just don't make any sudden moves.'

"Oh, he's an alarmist. Trim his wick and he'll be fine."

"Have you discovered what's making you so stressed?"

"Negotiations are useless. Let's just say whoever blinks first loses."

The one song banned in the workshop. What did I say about playing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" where Mrs. Claus can hear it?!

"I'm passing an enormous gasoline truck and you're talking about little 'dee-dee-dee's!"

"We've all had to find different ways of dealing with the current situation."

"Ugh...it's Mr. Martinez. He's always picking fights with all the clerks."