Temperature Tantrum Expert Pillows

'Other women get hot flashes -- My wife has temperature tantrums.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I don't know who's cranking up the air conditioning out here, but knock it off!'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"I'll introduce you to important people like Jim, the custodian. He controls the thermostat."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

Sore Loser

Lukewarm, lukecool and lukeHOT.

"You're right. . . Maybe it is time we did something about the office heating."

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

Menu. Will you do it? It'll cost you -- Two lattes. Fine. Just do it. Ok, stand back. You stupid #*& phone. Stop disconnecting my calls, you #*&% jerk! It needed doing, but I couldn't yell at my own phone. That felt wonderful.

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

Streaking makes a comeback, but nobody notices.

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

Heck Support.

History Of Fire

Showering in winter.

"You're really mad over something so small. You need to do something to release that pent-up anger."

'Of course your computer crashed, you threw it out the third floor window.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

Yeah, give it a sec - it always comes out warm at first.

'Golf was too frustrating, so Ed took up painting!'

Hot and Cold Elevator

'I had to confiscate the rubber band gun I made for Max. Now he won't speak to me. . .for a little guy he's got a huge cold shoulder.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"Yeah, it must be like 360 degrees in here."

'About the underfloor heating.'

'LET ME THROUGH! I'M A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST!'

This job I got will only last until the pandemic is over. It's temp work.

Boss, is the air conditioning broken? It just plummeted to about 30 degrees. That's awful. It was supposed to gradually fall to 30 degrees. Gradual temperature declines boost sales of hot drinks by 17%. But rapid declines make people leave. This can't be legal. Hold on, I'm setting the Ecobee to emergency blast furnace.

'He's a bit busy at the moment - Chillaxing.'

"Getting the WiFi to Work"

"Every time I got frustrated with my computer, I would slam on the keyboard. This time the keyboard fought back."

'I don't mind the obscene phone calls. But I object to them reversing the charges.'