Temperance Enthusiast Pillows

Drunk man thrown out of bar

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Snail crossing

"When I get older, I want to be just like you, Dad."

The Height of Impudence.

Civil war, "You shoot first old boy. No, no I won't hear of it"

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

Fishing Arizona- waiting for a flash flood

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

Angel kicked out of heaven, sent to Hell, on basis of 'creative differences.'

"Oh—pardon the expletive—damn!"

I'm BAD deal with it

She went as far as she could to get away from the paperwork.

Color is not a crime

'I admire how you don't take no for an answer, but I'm afraid I'm calling security.'

The speediness of today's world and its logical conclusion.

Race to the top

Short as he was, Dave was confident his endurance would see him through this round.

'The landlord's here, and he looks hungry!'

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

Cans of peas.

'Get your hands out of your pocket!'

'I wish they'd leave us out of their sordid affairs!'

Teetotaller outside public house

'If I hang in there long enough, erosion will get me back on top.'

The Bottle - Father Imprisoned and Mad, Daughter and Son Involved in Vice

'He's a bit busy at the moment - Chillaxing.'