Temperance Advocate Gifts

Teetotaller outside public house

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

America, are we learning anything?

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Postwar is hell."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Try thinking about something else."

Window Treatment

The new normal

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'