Television Truther Pillows

"If I see that commercial one more time, I can hate it enough to ignore it."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Stephen Fry

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Reporter #6: television.

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Freedom of the press

Presenter Auditions.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

Television guests' essentials in November.

Jeremy Clarkson.

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

Stephen Fry

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Stephen Fry.

The great Tea Bag Scam!

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

"I understand your feelings, dear, but don't you think that Jane Pauley would just as soon see you keep your strength up?"

Silly News.