Television Titans Gifts

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Showbiz Awards

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Horror movies

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"And this is our media room."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."