Television Scheduler Gifts

'We've got too many sitcoms, Miss Dudley -- pull the laugh tracks on half of them and run them as soaps.'

"They grow up so fast."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

Danger Slow Sand.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

God's Sticky Notes

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Am I the first one here?'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

If I can have your attention, gentlemen- we have a heavy schedule.

'If that's my wife, pencil her in for Boxing Day.'

Time Clock

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'When would work for you?'

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

'He's really very busy but you can wait.'

A midwinter potluck! How lovely!! Let me check the calendar! Oh, too bad! Thwack! We already have something on that date!

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

Child on a schedule.

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"You get to call the shots at 9.30,11.15,2.15 and 4.20."