Television Fan Gifts

"Mom, I love infomercials...there are no commercials!"

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"I take it this means Westerns are making a comeback."

Moses' TV guide.

TV Situations vacant.

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

This viewer contains strong language

'Happy Xmas!'

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Televised Insomnia Benefit Telethon puts couple to sleep.

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

"Maybe he's been watching too much television"

"This Fall on NBC: Fish Out of Water"

'Thank you for calling the Attention Deficit Disorder Hotline... Please continue to hold.'

"Look, would you mind jumping...only you're ruining the reception!"

Ancient artist and TV

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

TV-Man

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV jester.

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'