Teletherapy Titan Gifts

"I can't take the zoom lifestyle for one more minute!"

"Who called this meeting again?"

Sisyphus during Covid

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

Call Center.

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

"Yes, of course you can have a second opinion — ask Siri."

'Welcome to the rat race.'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

Hazard of texting

Workmen Lifting.

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"Don't patronize me. Nobody cares what I think anymore. Go ask Dr. Phil."

I love my mobile phone.

'I'm putting my husband's card in the bag too... he's a Dentist.'

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

Annual meeting of the American Telemedical Association.

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

'I'm getting lonely – my patients are getting their prescriptions online instead of visiting me.'