Telemarketer Slayer Gifts

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Cold caller.

"You. . . may. . . already. . . be. . . a . . . winner. . ."

"Is that a finger?"

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Sell AI"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

Call Center.

Your computer is not fully protected...

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'Hold on, he's back again.'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."

Man cold-calling on phone from igloo