Teeth Whitening Buff Pillows

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Champagne Bubble

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Sheep In Curlers

Do you think I'm sixty?

The Cat Spa

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Two men in barber shop

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

Level up your game with a MANicure.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

"Did you get some work done?"

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell