Teenager Handlers Pillows

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Pushy Dog

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"My best friend is my phone."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."