Teenager Handlers Gifts

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

Pushy Dog

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'The word bath is mentioned.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Two

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'