Canine Handler Gifts

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.

As far as Ralph was concerned, chasing cars was the best part of the job.

"He did it!"

"Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the cadavers."

First shift with the K-9 unit didn't go well.

'I'm off-duty today: I have a bad cold and a blocked nose...'

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Who's a good boy? Are you a good boy?"

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"My sniffer dog has been up graded."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Pushy Dog

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

A child and his dog

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

"I'll walk, you shovel."

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

'Damn showdog people!'

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.