Teenage Tornado Pillows

A young Don King

Rage.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Modern Kids.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"My best friend is my phone."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."