Teenage Dating Pillows

"You want privacy, don't date my daughter!"

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."