Teenage Dating Pillows

"You want privacy, don't date my daughter!"

'Clarice, you know our rule. You cannot date anyone who has...'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Two