Teenage Relationship Pillows

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

The Brothers Grime

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Modern Kids.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

"My best friend is my phone."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."