Teenage At Heart Gifts

'Do you ever think Mature is kind of an odd way to classify video games?'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"My best friend is my phone."

Mu-ther!! Pu-lease! I already have cleaned my room. I vant to be left alone! So when are the drama club auditions? Everyday.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'