Teen Troubles Analyst Pillows

You son's friends

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

An English and French student converse.

Mirror tells wicked queen from Snow White: 'If you do not wish to know the truth, please look away now.'

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

"Have you tried oversharing deeply personal thoughts on social media to help with the phone addiction?"

Swings Doctor

'I was not prepared for this!'

"Video game? No, I'm using the raise in my allowance to buy back stock."

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

"Why are they always pushing quality on us?"

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

'If you think you're going to sit around here while I wait on you hand and big foot, think again young man.'

"They discovered I liked a JK Rowling tweet when I was fifteen, you?"

"I've had sex with Donald Trump."

The statue of puberty.

Love your new top! Twig! It's hideous. Why are you fake-friending Eliza? It's not fake. She's a morning person. I need an a.m. pick-me-up! I'm not good enough for you? You don't drive past my house on your way to school. Hey, Jan! Nice bag!

"How real is your fake ID?"

"My boss is always telling me what to do."

'Can you believe that seven women, that's 83.5% of females in the 21-50 age band who are present, think I'm boring?'

"I think I'm maturing...today Tommy Jenkins punched me in the arm, and I liked it!"

'It's not fair!'

"This is my friend Estella."

"Uh-oh...I better get home. My dad's gonna want a good explanation for being late."

"No Justin. I'm saving myself for college."

Some People Have Experienced Career-Related Suicidal Thoughts

"They can recognize eight different pings from their apps, but they can't hear me when i ask them eight times to set the table."

"Baldo, do you know what happened to the rice pudding?"

'Dear John, It may come as a surprise, but for quite some time now I've been unhappy with our relationship…'

Me at 15/Me at 29

No, no, no, no … What? That kid who used the cafe's computers to steal credit cards over the internet has already been charged with fraud. So? He'll never get a fair trial! Why not? Judge Armstrong Maynard presiding. Bring in the punk. I mean, defendant.