Teen Technology Observer Gifts

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"Would you relax? They never look up."

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"When you said something about a stream, I thought you were talking about video."

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'

"Everytime I wear boxer shorts, the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing."

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

'I remember when she was proud to be seen with her parents.'

Skinny P. monitors the compliance of social media standards.

Call Your Mother- $2.00

Train Your Dog with Victoria Stilwell

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

'Your allowance has been wire transferred to your debit card.'

'iMac, iPod, iPhone, uWant, uBuy.'

"Homoapous amorius...the common lovebirds."

"Oh yes, my young master has changed too! He's now dressed in black all the time an he wears my old collars..."

Trolling on social media

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Annals of Technology: The first crude drinking straws appeared in ancient Egypt around 1200 B.C.

'You want me to stop playing video games and go outside to play? In all that air pollution?'

'Humph Punks!'

Goth Concerns: "I dunno, guys. lately things have been going really well for me. I can't think of a single reason to be unhappy."

'Isn't it a shame The kids grow up so quickly'

I'm an optimist. I see the pants as half-up.

Lost job due to downloads. Please help.

'Ever feel like the screens get bigger but the entertainment doesn't?'

'Dude! Check it out! I just bought your mortgage on Ebay!' When the economy totally crashes.

Vice President for Obsolescence

"You say I need to start using a slower speed?"

Some Google Guy Wants to De-emphasize Empathy