Teen Techie Gifts

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'

'Dude! Check it out! I just bought your mortgage on Ebay!' When the economy totally crashes.

Ascent of Machine.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Text Culture

"Invest in technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

Tamagotchi paralysis.

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

All the apps hidden within a phone

'This is suppose to be progress.'

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"He's my school project for science class."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

I've always been slower than computers...

Child hooking into a television

Social Networking.

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"